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Redfoo Smash!... ed - & a message to his assailant

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@ DAN-isms.com


Yeesh!  Not so sexy right now eh Fooey?
Soooo... I love this wide brown land of mine (though when that line is said without the context of the poem it came from, it may sound like I'm making Australia synonymous with a giant turd - not my intent)  but there are moments where I put my hands over my face and just go:

'Fuck... fellas?  Seriously?'  *wailing sounds*



So, over the weekend, Redfoo (if you've lived under a rock for a while and don't know who that is watch the video below) got glassed in a Sydney pub.


On one hand I kind of sniggered a little when I heard this (sorry), not because I want to see anyone hurt. My mirth was based on good-old-fashioned Aussie border wars, based largely on footy rivalry. NSW loves to paint QLD as the red-neck state and themselves as the culturally comparative elite, so, having one of their own displaying epic levels of bogan on the national stage - priceless!

(Though... we kind of are the red neck state and most of us are totally fine with that, we just don't like NSW acting superior.)

But glassing a guy...?  Who glasses someone called 'Redfoo'?  There are no cool points for this, there is no masculinity awarded after this act!  What kind of magnificent fucktards are you hanging out with if they are impressed by you attacking someone called a 'Red... Foooooo..'?

Even if we ignored the fact that the victim wins the 'most-douchey-name' award, glassing people is not cool.

So, a message to the glasser:

Glassing, is the act of a fucking coward.  This is the great green land of Oz, good sir, and male gender role is religiously adhered to and propagated... The phrase 'be-a-man' still means something here, and whether I agree with male gender role's continued propagation or not is irrelevant, because clearly, you do.

'Bro'... thou art not a man. Thou art not cool, thou art not special.  Thou art a dick ... head... of epic proportions.

In scientific circles you would labelled; 'The Soft-ious Cock-ious.'

I sincerely hope that when you brag to your friends about attacking an unsuspecting assailant and then running like the gutless wonder that you are, that your friends take turns to repeatedly kick you in the gonads.  Though whether this would be effective or not, I do not know, as to perform the kind of act that you did you clearly aren't packing much between the thighs or between the ears.

If your goal is to be 'a real man', let me explain how it's done:

Say your piece, stand your ground.  

The courage to speak with conviction, in spite of consequence, a willingness to face repercussion: that is what makes a man.

You're just making us all look bad.


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