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Selena Gomez! It's time to play the field.



So I'm a gossipy bitch.

I like Selena Gomez (I listened to Birthday on repeat for like a week when it came out), but lately she reminds me of Bart Simpson.  You know that episode from The Simpsons where he keeps electrocuting himself on the gopher cage that Lisa puts out to test the intelligence of her pet gopher?  How many times is this girl going to get back together with Justin Bieber?  I'm pretty sure it's a publicity stunt each time but a small part of me sees pics of them together and goes... no, she's way into this guy and he has too many options at this stage of life to be monogamous.

If this is a publicity stunt, it's time to find a new angle because this one does not make you look good Selena.  People only feel sorry for the girl who get's ditched so many times before they go, 'Well... you knew what you were getting with this guy.'

She went to Paris a few days ago with the dick Biebs and everyone reported on 'Their romantic french get-a-way'
Awww... Wait. Does that look even a little bit romantic?
Except that Biebs ditched her and spent all his time with the Kardashians:

What cracks me up is the carefully considered poses on the left vs the 'Fuck it' poses on te right.

Then he and Kendall were seen having dinner together:

Yes I'll have the cream of  Sum'Yung'Gai please...

And checked into Kendell Jenner's hotel...

Totalllllly inconscpicious, no one suspects a thing...

Which left Selena to wander around by herself, which is when she bumped into Miranda Kerr which is awkward because of the whole thing where Miranda allegedly banged Selena's boyfriend - but hey, smile big for the camera kids!


Ah the trials and tribulations of being a popstar, and I thought high-school was bad.

But seriously, I think I've cracked the code on this on again off again tryst between Selena and Bieber. He's implanted a mind control device in her... or alternatively he's like an orgasm god.  I'm not going to mentally explore the second option cause it creeps me out.

*Bieber Shudder*

Sure, he's a good looking guy and maybe even her first love, but the world is covered in good looking guys with a good portion of them more than willing to form a queue at Selena's door for a little personal time - one of them could be her second great love.  And yes, I hear a bunch of people going 'but she needs to find a guy just as successful as her'... er.. why?  This is the year 2014, surely by now we can have a successful woman be a provider for a hot male sex object instead of the other way around.  Or for that matter... why would she settle for just one guy?  Play the field m'lady, plenty of time to settle later.   As a lady friend of mine once said, 'Sometimes you just need the sad shagged out of you...'

Gender stereotypes won't change unless someone in the public eye gets up and changes them.  I'd clap if I saw someone like Selena walk the red carpet with a smile on her face and a hot guy on each arm.

Swim against the current my little one, swim against the current.  Because even if you don't want to change the world, your existing strategy of following the world's biggest D-bag is not doing you any favours.

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