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The Daily Recap: FRIDAY

 
The Daily Recap: FRIDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

Handcuffed woman makes high speed getaway in stolen cop car


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Grand Theft Auto eat your heart out.  This is the real life story of Roxanne Rimer who asked her grandfather to drive her to the shops for a pair of earrings.  What Roxanne didn't tell old pappy was that she planned to steal those earrings, who ran from the store (pursued by security) and then told old grandpappy to STEP ON IT!

Grandpa Rimer wasn't threilled with this scenario and pulled over for police who arrested Roxanne.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE...

The Daily Recap: THURSDAY



The Daily Recap: THURSDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

How to make animal activists lose their mind - the Godaddy superbowl commercial


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Every now and then the internet does what it does best, which is weird porn lose its mind for something that doesn't really need to be turned into an issue.  I'm fairly certain if it were up to SJW's that we'd have no dark humor left, which is all this is an example of in my opinion.

Are puppy mills funny? No - neither is being kicked in the balls and I still laugh (and cringe) whenever I see a nutshot.

Anyway, the video above got pulled after animal rights groups complained it promoted puppy mills. What do you think? Is this a piece of nefarious advertising or just a bit of black humor?

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Women's Ideal Body Types Throughout History




Ever wonder why it's so difficult to achieve the female beauty 'ideal'?  Part of it is because over the passage of history we've repeatedly societally changed the endgame as what that ideal looks like.


If you like this video you may also want to check out "100 years in women's appearance in 1 minute".

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The Daily Recap: WEDNESDAY


The Daily Recap: WEDNESDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

Dear Hollywood, Screw your opportunistic, all-female Ghostbusters

The new Ghostbusters cast... Good luck.

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This is a rant about Hollywood, equal opportunity, the cinematic portrayal of women... oh, and Ghostbusters.

I first heard about an all-female Ghostbusters several months ago, so I've had a lot of time to think about the reboot and here's why this makes me facepalm so hard, that my hand is about to emerge from the rear of my skull.

This is not the empowerment of women, this is not even an attempt at fighting for gender equality or raising awareness of gender issues, it is not an attempt at providing women with new opportunities though I'm sure it will be very deliberately marketed in all those ways.

This is taking one of the most beloved franchises ever and re-skinning it as a vaginally bolstered cash-cow, and here's why that sucks...

Watch guys & girls reaction to experiencing virtual reality porn


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If you've never experienced the Oculus Rift, let me just say - it's trippy as balls, which is handy because now you see how people react to balls via the Oculus Rift (video below).

When did Will Ferrell become a woman-beating asshole?

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EDIT:  This was a stunt as part of a movie - please ignore.

Will Ferrell is generally a funny guy, sometimes funny-awkward and occasionally just funny-painful.  Well now he's just painful.

He was attempting a half-court shot at a Lakers vs Pelican's basketball match when for no apparent reason he smashed a ball into the face of one of the cheerleaders?  There's a series of commentary pieces that say this might be an attempt at generating movie-buzz for his new film where he plays a privileged white asshole, but if it is a stunt, it's the worst I've seen. 

The alternative is that he just has rage issues. Why?  I don't know.

Regardless, I'm not sure who would find attacking a woman for no reason to be funny.  Pictures and video of the incident below:

Check out Emma Stone tripping Naomi Watts at SAG

video
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I love Emma Stone, if she was the leader of a lynch mob and I was it's victim, I suspect I'd still like her.  Here she is tripping Naomi Watts as she walks onto the stage, check out her face when she first realises what she's done, it's priceless.

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Australia Day and beers



It's Australia Day today, so like any great Aussie I'm going to drink German Beer, fry up some Polish sausages and play video games cause it's hot as hell outside.

Short version, no posts today.  However if you are an Australian please take the time to read my thoughts on what means to be an Aussie:

"Dear Australia, Thank you."  An open letter to Aussies' on Australia day

See you tomorrow,
Dan

"Dear Australia, Thank you." An open letter to Aussies' on Australia day



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Dear Australia, Thank you.

As the son of an immigrant family, a first generation Aussie whose siblings were all born overseas, I have been constantly reminded that this is the lucky country.

My dad talked about the life he left behind, caged in shoe-box apartments, woken by neighbours through paper thin walls.  His notion of fresh air was three feet of balcony—because he couldn’t afford a place with a yard.

But I grew up with green and gold.

My childhood was spent rolling on grass and climbing purple blossoming jacarandas, my weekends were white sandy beaches, laughter in sea foam, and bulging eyes fixed on the bronzed bodies around me.  I never worried about fog, and snow, and sleet.  My only burden was careless sunburns.

Each day I wake to an Australian tapestry, woven together with a sea of green gum trees, clear blue skies and baked red earth.  My music is the sound of lorikeets, king parrots, magpies, cockatoos and butcher birds.  The only neighbours I hate are the bloody goannas who try to eat my chook eggs.  I don’t have a balcony—but I do have 10 acres of bushland on a mountainside that I call home.

Lucky?  If you’re not Australian, you don’t even know the meaning of the word.

Unfortunately not everyone who lives here understands that.  Instead of feeling privileged, some feel entitled because they were born here, because they are Australian ‘natives’.  To those people I say this…

You don’t look very Aboriginal to me.

If you’re using Australia Day to take issue with someone’s heritage you might wish to remember that we are all immigrants, if not you personally, then your ancestors. If you have a problem with someone’s skin tone, remember, Australia’s native colour is brown, not white.  If you have a problem with someone’s faith, I don’t recall seeing you at the last discussion of The Dreamtime.

But please don’t confuse my message—I’m not saying if you’re not Aboriginal you’re not Australian,  I’m saying that almost every person in this country first and foremost made the personal choice to be Australian.  Which is why I’d also like say if you’re new to Australia—

Please, be Australian.

Australia has its own identity and if you’d like to be here we’d like you to share it.

It is time for Australia to be multi-ethnic, not multi-cultural.  What that means is we acknowledge that this amazing group of people comes from the seed of many nations, but that we have joined together to form a new cultural identity.  No matter how long you have been in this land, please, celebrate your heritage, be proud of the people who came before you and their achievements—then put Australia first.

I celebrate Oktoberfest, Chinese New year, and St Paddy’s day—but I am always, first and foremost, Australian.

If you don’t want to assimilate, if you don’t want to learn the language, if you don’t want to adopt the culture, if you want to look down your nose at the Australian people—I have good news!  We live in a free country, which means you have the right and freedom to change your mind about being an Australian, and leave.  My father was born in East Germany, my girlfriend’s family grew up in Communist Poland—being allowed to leave a nation you don’t want to be a part of is not a privilege everyone experiences easily.

Fortunately that’s not an issue I need to worry about because I live in a lucky country, this is my home.  This is Australia.  I welcome you to be one of us.

Happy Australia Day to all my fellow Australians.


Little Dan, the first in a new generation of Aussie's


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The Daily Recap: FRIDAY

 
The Daily Recap: FRIDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

Destroy your enemies with glitter bombs!


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Short short version of this story.  Fellow Australian Matthew Carpenter started a company that made spring loaded glitter packets shoot out of containers, covering everything in an almost impossible to clean up mess.  He then marketed this product online as something you could order and have delivered as a humorous piece of retribution to your enemies.  The problem was, the product did too well.

After almost 2.5 million hits and being shared around over 400,000 times he sold the company.  Why?  Because he's a prankster and not a business mogul, organising shipping etc is a big pain in the ass.  Still he netted himself a cool $85k in just under a month of work.  Well played Matthew.

Now excuse me while I visit ShipYourEnemiesGlitter.com and start shipping these things out by the crate.  When you write a book called Cockblocked by Jesus, you tend to get some angry letters - time to send some back!

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The Daily Recap: MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY


The Daily Recap: MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

CuTe NeWs: This is how one dad won the internet



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Do you know what would be freaking awesome! Turning your whole house into a giant ball pit before your wife gets home.  Outcome:

Kids thrilled.
Dad pleased.
Wife... currently seeking legal advice on divorce settlement, most likely.


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Employee fired after not showing up to work... for 24 years


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Ah bureaucracy, how do I love thee.

AK Verma was an executive engineer at the Central Public Works Department in India.  It seems that Mr Verna had some things he wanted to work through and went on extended leave - like - realllllly extended leave because the last time he turned up for work was December of 1990.

Geeesh.

A government statement explained that he went on leave without permission and then refused one order after another to return to work (yet continued to be paid).  Unfortunately they didn't fire him, 'cause largely they couldn't. Turns out that India's labor laws are so restrictive that it's basically impossible to fire anyone for anything less than criminal activity.

Now if you can excuse me, I need to relocate to Mumbai.  *sounds of slamming suitcases*

Source

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The Daily Recap: TUESDAY


The Daily Recap: TUESDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

What's with all the lady-teachers banging their students?


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Seriously, I missed out in highschool. I always just thought it was overwhelming christian guilt cockblocking me, who knew it was the fact that I was supposed to be making passes at the teachers.

Melody Lippert and Michelle Ghirelli were arrested by Californian police for having sex with their students. The LA Times had this to say:

The Daily Recap: Monday


The Daily Recap: Monday
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

Satanic school bus, vaginal knitting, psycho moms, anti-gay funerals and transgender bounties


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There's been sooo much wierd news lately that I haven't been able to report on it all, so here is a collection of links to stories you just have to read to believe:



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The Daily Recap: FRIDAY


The Daily Recap: FRIDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com



Dancing Penises and Vagina's aimed at 3-6 year old Swedes


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Sandy's Graphic Designs shot this through to me this morning (If you want custom kids birthday invites, check it out) and I'm kind of speechless.  This is an educational video shown on kids TV in Sweden to explain the difference between penises and vagina's to kids aged three to six.

I personally feel that Sex Ed before puberty - or specifically, before you can get people pregnant - is the domain of parents.  Once kids can get themselves into trouble, sorry, they need to know what's what and if the parents aren't going to do it then the state, who will end up paying parental support benefits to underage parents, has a right to step in and educate those kids if parents won't.

But if I walked in on my 3 year old watching this and I hadn't chosen to put that on... I'd lose my mind.

The song features interesting lyrics like "here comes the penis at full pace" and "the vagina is cool, you better believe it, even on an old lady.  It just sits there so elegantly."

That actually made me crack up, I've yet to see an "elegant" penis or vagina, but that could just be me. Video below, what do you think of it?