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Woman tries to bite off boyfriend's penis


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I see one of those stories every other week now.  Are there a whole bunch of stories I'm missing with the headline "man tries to bite off woman's breasts?"  If there are I'm sure they aren't presented with the same kind of levity that this story has been blogged about.

kjrh.com had this to say about the incident:

50 Shades of Disney dramatic over reaction


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WARNING: The NSFW Disney pics being discussed in this article are after the page break.

There are two types of people - those who live on the internet, and those that don't.

That later segment of humanity, who doesn't know that everything you can possibly think of has an "adult" version on the internet, lost their minds recently when a cartoonist over at Deviant Art drew a series of pictures for Cosmopolitan depicting Disney characters in 50 Shades of Grey type animations.

German family does awesome LL COOL J cover


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*Throws signs* Shout out to my fellow Euro-block peeps! 

I have to admit, I kind of love YouTuber and fellow German Flula, so when I saw this video in one of the celeb blogs that I follow, I was pretty pleased.  The video is a cover of LL COOL J's "Mama Gonna Knock You Out", made extra special that it is a cover done with his actual mother, as well as dad. 

On a personal note, I was extra impressed by the fact that his dad plays an accordion... which I haven't seen anyone do since my dad (RIP) who also played accordion.

It's clearly a German thing.

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Author John Green apologises re: Papertowns quote


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John Green is the Author of PaperTowns whose novel is currently being turned into a movie.  A quote was famously attributed to his book and made the rounds of the internet and productised in an entire series of ways... with one small problem:

He never wrote the line, it's not even in the book.

The gender-equality hit and miss of modern Romantic Comedy - "Trainwreck"



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Judd Apatow is releasing another movie featuring a lead that is not-exactly-a-glamour-model-but-still-a-pretty-quirky-thirty-something-woman in a movie about - you guessed it - the challenges of love, dating and being a woman in the modern age.

I had a gripe a little while ago that the only time that women get a shot as a lead in movies is either in A) Romantic Comedy or B) Equal-opportunity-isms.  I should add to that particular statement, that I still like many of the dating/romantic comedy movies because I have man-gina I actually really like watching and reading about how relationships develop.

I've only seen the Trailer for Trainwreck (written by and starring Amy Schumer), but it got me thinking about the Romantic Comedy genre and how this movie is a good example of a shift in thinking around how we present women in modern cinema... with the complete failure to do the same for men.

Edible Anus Chocolates...?


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Ever have one of those mornings where the internet just happened to you?  I'm having one of those days apparently and amongst my rounds of celebrity gossip was this - chocolate buttholes...

Please, enjoy your penis-clam


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This was too good not to share as it is the weirdest food I have ever seen.  The above is a pic of the geoduck (Goo-ee-duck), the world's largest burrowing clam, and native of North America.

Dailyoftheday had this say:

Win a $100 Amazon Gift Voucher in our Giveaway Promotion!



How to WIN!
To be in the running for a $100 Amazon Gift Voucher just do these three things by 13 March 2015:
1. Like the "Cockblocked by Jesus" Facebook page
2. Share the Facebook post (this post)

3. Post an honest review of "Cockblocked by Jesus" on the Amazon.com page (click here).

Winner Draw
The winner will be drawn randomly here on 15 March 2015 with a video announcement being uploaded letting everyone know who the winner is and the prize being emailed thereafter to an email address of their choice.

How do I get "Cockblocked by Jesus"?
To get a taste of this hilarious coming-of-age tale download the FREE sample chapter:


Or purchase the book from any of these locations in any of these formats:

US$0.99 - iTunes eBook
US$0.99 - Amazon.com Kindle edition
US$0.99 - Smashwords eBook
US$16.99 - Amazon.com Paperback
US$15.99 - Paperback direct from the author
US$19.99 - Paperback SIGNED COPY direct from the author

Here’s what others have had to say so far:

“Crude, rude and brutally honest; Cockblocked by Jesus is a book which grabs you by the balls and take you along for the ride of teenage embarrassment, shame and pure cringe, with as many highs and lows as a backdoor bucking bronco. As quick on pace as it is on wit, Cockblocked by Jesus is one of those rare little gems that does not yet have the recognition it deserves.” – Joshua Bedford

“Cringed as much as I laughed! An honest story of teenage love woes.” – Angela Farley


“Funny, engaging and awkwardly adorable, Cockblocked by Jesus captures your attention in a crass, unforgiving way and then holds it, giving you a surprising and honest look into the confusing, chaos-ridden world of being a kid and growing up. It is well written, the characters likeable and funny, and you'll find yourself connecting and remembering your own awkward growing up phase.” – Emma Roy

Terms and conditions: This competition is for any English-speaking entrant who submits an honest review on Amazon.com for Cockblocked by Jesus within the promotional period of 14 Feb 2015 to 13 March 2015.  For verification, please use your real name when you write your review, this will make it much easier for us to track you down to make sure you receive your prize if you win.  $100 Amazon Gift Voucher will be issued electronically to the email address of the winning entrant.  The winner will be drawn by random lottery on 15 March 2015 and announced on the Cockblocked by Jesus Facebook page (as well as here on www.DAN-isms.com) on the day of the draw!


The struggle to feel normal and LaChapelle's,"Take me to Church"




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I think everyone struggles to feel normal, be it for their own reasons.

My relationship with god and sexuality is not a good one. My dad was bi-sexual, and then he found god "and prayed the gay away".

A great deal of my early years that were meant to be spent in sexual self-discovery were instead spent being flogged (often literally), and emotionally flogging myself, for just your average heterosexual feelings.  If my dad could overcome the "urges put in him by the devil", then I could overcome my sinful nature too through the power of the lord... problem is, I didn't want to.

What I wanted was not to cry because I had looked at a woman with sinful thoughts.
I wanted to hold someone and not feel like I had sullied myself in the eyes of Christ for doing so.
Most of all I wanted someone to want me in the same way...
...and for it to be okay.

I don't know what it's like to be gay and to carry that societal burden.  I do know what it's like to feel that your natural inclination to be a sexual human being is met with disgust and judgement, to be ridiculed for it, to have your nature demonised by the people around you and those that you care about.

I was eventually disfellowshipped for having sex before marriage and shunned by my church.  If you've never experienced the feeling of being shunned, it's ugly.  Your friends no longer speak to you, the people you cared about ignore you, the people you grew up with won't even acknowledge your existence.

... and though they may be unwilling to speak to you, they will speak about you, particularly to your family, which will make your home life a living hell.

As a result, at seventeen I moved out of home. A few of my school friends ended up being the difference between whether I ended up living on the street.  I ended up becoming very ill because I could only afford a few packets of noodles per week, enough to stop me from starving but not exactly a healthy diet.  Not that it mattered, I spent each of my nights vomiting what I'd eaten anyway, covered in sweat, shaking... because I thought I had failed god and that he was going to kill me when he judged mankind for their sins.

I'm fine now, but I can remember how real and ugly it felt. I carry those feelings in a fragile box in my head that I try not to disturb.

Which is why I don't even have the words to express how deeply the video and music above strikes a chord in me.


The video above is a dance interpretation by Russian ballet legend Sergei Polunin, captured by photographer David LaChapelle, of the music Take Me To Church by Hozier.


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Miley Cyrus, porn and the stigmisation of sexuality


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Miley Cyrus is well known for upsetting people by being overtly sexual.  Well she upset plenty of people a few days ago when she submitted a short film to the NYC Porn Festival...

The Daily Recap: WEDNESDAY


The Daily Recap: WEDNESDAY
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com


Why does Kim Kardashian look like an Oompaloompa?


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I'm the first person to say it's wrong to judge people by their appearance, so understand this is not commentary about Kim herself, but rather the photography that was done of her.  I keep looking at the pic below and just blinking rapidly in confusion...

It's not just me right?  It looks like they shrunk down her legs into tiny little leggies and skewed the photo in such a way that essentially her whole body is as a miniaturized attachment to her ass, rather than have her ass attached to her body? I mean no normal person has calves that short do they?

NSFW image of Kim for the new LOVE magazine shoot below:

The Daily Recap: Superbowl special

It's not just me right, this Superbowl logo looks like a short erect penis right?  Balls and all?
The Daily Recap: Superbowl special
Links to all today's most interesting news & entertainment @ DAN-isms.com

The most epic lip synch battle you will see - Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart, Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore



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I think this may be the most epic lip sync battle you will ever see and while people are talking up Will Ferrell's performance of Beyonce, I think that Jimmy Fallon walks out the winner on this one (You'll see why).


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Katy Perry SuperBowl Show featuring Lenny Kravitz and Missy Elliot




The Superbowl may be the single best example of America being American that will you ever see.  Here we get watch the "world champions" of football... when the only competitor is - America!  I actually love NFL but that makes be facepalm pretty hard.  My son and I created a game called "I'm your father and I freaking said so..." and to date I am also the "world champion" of this game...

Anyway, Katy Perry kicked ass at the half time show as did Lenny Kravitz and Missy Elliot, video above.


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